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Introduction

A little bit about where we're going here.  First of all, this blog is dedicated to my gutpunching fetish.  Ever since I can remember, the ability for a man to take a punch, especially one to the stomach was a huge turn on for me.  This fetish has been the source of some sexual experiences but a lot more fantasies!  What I plan to do here is share my experiences, fantasies, and general thoughts and development of my fetish.

Let's start with the title of the blog, "Are You Tough Enough?"  This harkens back to my AOL days where I used the screen name RUTUFENUF.  AOL opened up a whole new world for me that I had no idea existed.  Up until then I just thought I was some weird nut case.  I never thought there would be others sharing my interest!

Growing Up

From my earliest memories fight scenes in movies and TV got me hot.  I knew in some way I was different from other boys, although I wasn't aware of sex or sexual orientation yet.  I instinctively knew I wasn't as masculine as other boys, and therefore I longed for anything I perceived as masculine.  Interestingly, while fight scenes piqued my pre-adolescent interest, it wasn't throwing the punches that I fantasized about, but the ability to take punches...especially stomach punches. I remember early fantasies of my arms being held back by one boy behind me while another punched my stomach from the front, impressed by my ability to take it.  

By early teens my body was reacting to the fight scenes with raging erections.  I was very particular.  Pro wrestling did nothing for me because it was obviously fake.  Boxing was OK, but didn't have a strong impact on me because there was so much strategy.  Plus I didn't find the predominant boxers of my teen years to be particularly sexy. However, fight scenes in TV and movies were different!

While in hindsight, they are way less realistic than wrestling or boxing, as nobody fights like that in real life.  Mixed martial arts wasn't a thing yet, which is probably the most realistic fight action one can see now.  However, to my hormonal adolescent mind, the attraction was the sound effects and the reactions.  A punch to the face in a fight scene has a distinctive sound I'll recognize anywhere and still grabs my attention!  Two men facing off, taking turns punching each other in the face was totally hot, but when one got in a body shot, that really got my attention.  But if the man doubled over...or it was two-on-one, or there was a combination of punches...BOING, instant hard on!  Westerns were usually pretty dependable for the requisite fight scene!  All it would take is a short fight scene with punches to the face that would whip the man's face around, and some punches to the gut to make the man drop to his knees, and I'd be up in the bathroom rubbing one out.

It wasn't just the gutpunching that got me off though, but thickly muscled men as well.  In third grade we got a new gym teacher.  He looked like a thickly muscled and bearded Robert Redford (if you remember his movie Jeremiah Johnson).  I will never forget staring at his flexed, peaked left bicep holding the class roster as he took roll!  I wasn't even sporting hard ons yet and he had me drooling!  I clearly remember fantasizing about hanging out with him as a kid...enjoying the feelings but not understanding where they were going yet.

Then there were the male gymnasts.  Way too much TV air time was devoted to the girls and not nearly enough to the men!  They became some of my first masturbatory fantasies as well.  The thick biceps and pecs were to die for, but I think that's when I first noticed and developed a fetish for washboard abs.  American males weren't worth televising yet, so I remember having massive crushes on the Soviet male gymnasts of the time.  

My tastes didn't change in high school and college, but my awareness of my sexuality made me a lot more inhibited.  Being gay was not OK to the public, or really to me...not when the lame excuse of eating too many Twinkies was enough to get away with murdering a gay public official.  I hid my sexuality, but it made the eroticism of fight scenes even greater.  The masculinity of being able to take a punch became even more pronounced.

Coming Out

I came out after college and my sexual experiences were pretty basic and I kept my "perverted" fetish to myself.  I noticed an ad in the gay paper about "massage parties" with instruction offered, and so on.  I fell for it, thinking it was legit, and showed up to a seedy row house with a wrestling mat on one side and an area on the other that looked like an ER triage area with curtains creating little spaces.  Well, I wasn't going to immediately turn around and run out clutching my pearls.  Besides, one of the guys wrestling was a hot little wiry guy...a little shorter than me and more tightly muscled.

We made eye contact, and eventually we got talking.  He asked if I wrestled, but I was still pretty inhibited about public displays and all.  I guess it was not wanting to appear weak or losing in front of others or something like that.  Anyway, he understood my not wanting to wrestle in the middle of the room in front of an audience of middle aged men, so we went to one of the little "triage" areas that was pretty small with basically a twin size camp cabin mattress.  Well, we wrestled around a bit.  I had no training like he had, but I was able to escape holds even though I had no idea what to do offensively.  Anyway, he heaped praise on me which felt real good and we started jerking off.  He came first, and I'll never forget what happened next!  Like an out-of-body experience, I heard my voice say "Punch me!"  He cocked his head to the side like a puppy, "OK," and knelt beside me and started driving his fist into my gut.  OMFG!  I came like never before!  It was the most intense orgasm I'd had to date!  I still remember his reaction of "That was different!" Of course, he was the first of many hot encounters with men from out of town.  GRRR!!

I remember thinking that was incredibly hot, but likely not to happen again unless he happened to come back to town.  However, soon after the Internet started exploding and Steve Case gave us America Online (AOL)!  There were other platforms before AOL, but none were as slick or as open.  AOL had content devoted to the GBTQ community, and they aggressively marketed to us.  The chat rooms, though limited to like 23 or 25 participants, were free form.  When I discovered "Wrestling M4M" that's when I realized I was not alone!  While there were a number of gay men into wrestling, I discovered a subset that were into gutpunching as I was, and WTF, there's even a name for our perversion; Agonophilia.  Thus, the screen name and persona RUTUFUNUF was born!

Since then I've had a lot of fun and a lot of frustration, some of which I'll share in subsequent posts.  The AOL years were fun, but I got out of the "scene" in order to pursue dating, hoping to find a husband, etc.  Well, that hasn't happened.  However, I've never lost my interest in gutpunching.  I still had occasional opportunities and encounters, but I didn't spend the time in chatrooms or online sites in pursuit like I used to.

Recently, though, I've met a couple of men online who really pushed my buttons!  While the online chats have come to fruition in person (yet, I hope!), they really got my juices flowing again.  So this single old man is reliving and sharing his musings, experiences, fantasies, and whatever comes to mind in case there are others out there who might enjoy what I post.

ENJOY!  Feel free to share your interest, fantasies, and experiences.  Just please, read the disclaimer and keep it consensual with no rape or other injurious violence.